Taking advantage

I know that I struggle with generosity. As I rattle through the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians, I recognize my limitations. I have never really enjoyed sharing.

I have my reasons, of course. They aren’t great reasons, but they are mine. Maybe it was from being forced to share crayons in kindergarten and the other kids never giving them back. Maybe it is fear that there will not be enough. For whatever reason, I struggle with being generous.

I don’t just struggle with be generous. I worry about being taken advantage of. It happens quite a bit in ministry. Someone will say they need money for his or her rent, but then one discovers that they don’t use the money the way I think they should!

Maybe that is the problem. I want to control my gift! I want you to do with it what I insist! I don’t want you to lie to me or be tricked into giving. And yet…

The nature of giving, a gift, is a gift. We have to let it go, hope that it helps. I can’t control what someone will do with my gift. I can only control that I give. Can I give freely? Can I offer my gift to God and let God sort out how it may be used?